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by Kevin Mercurio

I step out of my car and look up. Behind the blow-up inflatable and balloons was the car dealership sign. I want to buy a new car. I need to buy a new car.

As I’m walking to the entrance, I turn back and look at that piece of shit. The sides are rusting, the blue hue is fading, the headlights staring back like depressed eyes. A homeless man wouldn’t even steal this.

Inside is magnificent. So much luxury, so much excitement! People happy to test their new vehicles. Wow, they can park themselves now?

“Hi there, buddy! What can I help you with today?” He’s a good looking, middle-aged man. Black, slick-backed hair. Tidy suit. Fresh.

“I’m here for a new car,” I say. “Have any particular deals out right now?”

With a smile he says, “Of course buddy, but only for you!”

He brings me to the back of the room, where there are more balloons and commotion. We stand in front of the most gorgeous sports utility vehicle: perfect size, shine, blue colour. Sitting within, I feel the leather seats and full-touchscreen dashboard. And it parks itself. I love it.

“Buddy, for you today, you get it at a steal! Let’s step into my office and sign those papers, shall we?”

We pass by another car with a price a bit less than that of the SUV. Smaller frame, much smaller actually. Fabric seats. I’m curious…

“Do you ever sell any of those ones?” I ask with a smirk.

“That? Not really, it’s one of our new electric cars. Lesser in price but also in quality when you compare it to that beautiful SUV. Not something I see someone like you in, buddy!”

“Electric? Doesn’t require gas at all?”

“It does not. But the SUV has top-notch fuel economy. Second to none, actually.”

“So I will never have to pump gas into that car? How does the battery recharge?”

“Well it’s a solar cell. You can also plug it into any outlet or charging station. Not many of those though, compared to gas stations.”

“So you’re saying I never have to pay for gas again? How’s the long distance?”

“It’s about the same. But it’s also quite small. Can only fit about four, buddy.”

“Well I really just need to go from Point A to Point B, as a car is meant to do. Why didn’t you show me this one?”

“Most people go with the better sale on our higher end models. I mean, these are the cars most people dream of, and the price is more than reasonable, buddy. I’m here to show the best people our best cars.”

“So here you have an SUV that looks amazing, with fuel economy topping the list for larger vehicles. While you have another smaller vehicle, a tad less in price, and I will never have to pay for gas again?”


I got the SUV. I’m a lawyer for Christ sakes, buddy.


“It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.”
– Bertrand Russell

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