This post is a dedication to US Senator Cory Booker in his record breaking 25 hour long speech in April 2025 about the serious issues concerning his country (see quote below). If you have even remotely the time required to hear his speech, you can watch the beginning of it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXdqHXbp04s.

 

_____

​

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

10, two letter words so simplified

Yet so full of gravity,

Describing such a meaningful moment in time.

But let me first state what it is not.

It is not a cliché call to action of an individual;

It is not an argument for destiny or submission towards divine order;

It is not persuasion pieced together in rhetorical eloquence.

What it is, is a simple statement of cause and effect,

Of a law so prevalent across the universe it is perversive;

Everything impacting everywhere all at once.

As an individual, one is inadequate to cause meaningful change,

And inquiring about individual actions is to miss the opportunity,

Not to be the spark, but to be a source of fuel,

Like an emotion of mass proportions.

It is not a question of what can one do,

But what is one doing from the very beginning;

A decision before the question is even proposed.

That is both the issue and the solution.

It is one’s freedom to choose whether it is to be or not to be,

Whether there are grounds for war,

Whether there are diseases to treat,

Whether there are people who suffer.

If there exists the former, only then can there be work towards the latter.

Plain and simple.

One’s choice on the matter must begin on the existence of an ether for questions.

Otherwise, what it is will not be up to you,

But to an invisible power.

 

_____

 

Afterword

 

It took me some time to write this piece. In fact, it took a serious chest infection to even have the time and space to think about the previous year. Over the last several months, I have been restricted in something that I value so dear to my heart, a part of my persona that gave rise to many opportunities in my life, while also supporting me during moments of despair and anguish. That is creativity. Creativity, particularly in the form of catharsis or reflection, is a powerful tool for perspective analysis. Yet, I sacrificed my creative endeavours in the hopes of increasing effort and efficiency in my work. This does seem to be a repetitive occurrence, solely due to temporary circumstances. Still, it is hard to accept in hindsight, and even implement rules or procedures to mitigate this sacrifice.

 

Before I continue the self reflection, let me bring back the inspiration behind this creative energy. On March 31st of this new year, US Senator Cory Booker took to the US Senate floor to talk about President Donald Trump’s very controversial agenda. In his speech, he begins by bringing up late US Senator John Lewis, a civil rights activist who campaigned with Martin Luther King Jr. in the 1960s to bring about change in the form of legislation. Laws were implemented that prohibited discrimination based on race, colour, religion, sex, or national origin; outlawed discriminatory voting laws and banned housing discrimination. From there, Booker contrasts these actions with those of the current executive branch, in which executive orders are being put forth that counter progress on important matters like climate change, education and social security. He reads shared experiences of his constituents about current government supported programs that are being attacked or otherwise removed, asking his colleagues where they were and whether they spoke up during this moment in history— a period that will surely be studied from spectacular curiosity in the future. What resonated with me was a quote Senator Booker mentions at the beginning of his speech, “If it is to be, it is up to me”. This quote is attributed to US painter William H. Johnson, known for his folk style paintings (though beginning as a realist turned expressionist artist). It is through this statement that provided the fuel for a proper reflection on the previous year, and even towards the state of the world as it stands today.

 

The poem above is written in free-form, expressing the intricate complexity of thoughts that arose from such a simple sentence. I immediately knew that it was not a plea for individuals to change and “wake up”. Though, it is completely normal to think that in the current state of world affairs, people are unsatisfied with the actions of their elected officials (or in some cases, unelected officials). It seems to be more pressing and original than such a superficial conclusion. Senator Booker states in his own speech that his individual actions can be deemed as “inadequate”. Literally, this is true, as his 25 hour long speech was not technically a filibuster that obstructs debate on passing legislation. Regarding his responsibility as a US senator, this is also true, as democratic process dictates that majority vote will determine the outcome of legislation. With over 500 voting members inside the US Congress, Senator Booker’s vote is statistically equivalent to being 0.2% impactful. Perhaps then it is the idea of mass protest, non-violent civil disobedience similar to those of the civil rights movement decades ago. This would, indeed, stir up some response by the president’s administration. But with such a dedicated voter base, with the polarization of ideologies within the United States will likely lead to more argumentation or possibly worse. What then is the significance of this quote if it is not to provide a spark for change?

 

Personally, I believe it to be an agreement concerning one thing: the permanence of inquisition. Right or left, conservative or liberal, we must be able to ask each other questions with respect. Politicians and ruling bodies have for millennia tried dodging the question or argued their opinions, but that is their right, same as those who have the right to ask questions. There are facts in this universe that we should no longer argue about (though even these can be respectfully investigated if needed), but there are certainly actions that should be questioned, or accepted norms that can be scrutinized, all with respect and reason. If the ability to question is for whatever reason undermined, such as removing press outlets from government briefings, overriding equal branches of power, or reducing societal aid, what is left? We must decide that it is okay to ask questions in order for work towards solutions to begin.

 

Again, this resonates with me because over the last year, the final year of my PhD program in Ireland, I’ve been confronted with the existential question that plagues most people after a long endeavour: Was is worth it? What significance will I ascertain after the completion of this program? I know for a fact that is not really the work itself that I derive meaning from, although I do find the subject matter intellectually stimulating. What lessons did I learn that I can implement in my life? And more importantly, has my perspective on life dictated the decisions I made throughout this year for better or for worse? It was up to me to decide, but I just could not find any meaningful answer.

 

Towards the end of 2023 and beginning of 2024, I had been dealt a devastating loss to my confidence in both my personal and work life. What concluded was an emotionally unstable relationship and the assurance that my PhD project was progressing without issue. These two things, at the time, were pillars that stabilized me, providing the foundational support for my character, behaviour and integrity. With those ending, I sought to reflect on this passively by multiplying the occurrence of meaningful experiences. This was practiced through establishing more connections with family and friends, but also through investment in trips to destinations I only dreamed of visiting.

 

Let’s start with connections. I ensured that I reached out to people in my life with vested interest in their current states. I became more aware of my colleagues and their lives as well, so long as they wish to share their experiences. These led to great moments that will remain even greater memories for as long as I live. And with my confidence building, I met a great person who I am ecstatic to call my partner, someone with unmatched empathy who I can count on and deserves all the love and care I can provide. Then, travelling. I am privileged enough to have travelled to seven countries in 2024, six of which were completely new to experience. Each destination prompted a first-hand cultural perspective of legendary nations that shaped the world today. With these memories, I am steps closer to reaching the potential I know I possess, in becoming the person I idolize in my future. If you choose to idealize a person, let that person be you.

 

My biggest takeaway from the past year is the idea of initiative. Perhaps you don’t have the answer to enormous questions, or even little ones. This doesn’t mean that you will never realize an answer. But start something. Initiate not a force that snowballs into something larger, but put yourself into experiences that might lend you that spark, or that might provide others that spark for their own change. We always try and find meaning that begins change, and that is no doubt extremely important moments when we look back on the history of ourselves, but we forget that sparks can be influenced for. Take the long gruelling process of initiative and experience the world, otherwise how can one possibly be enlightened by its wonder?

 

_____

 

As I do every year, I would like to share with you now the blooper reel of 2024. To the many people I have connected with along the way, to the serious and downright silly experiences that continue to shape me everyday, here’s to the new found respect for initiative that fuels progress in us all!