Year 2019

by Kevin Mercurio

This post is a dedication to a poem written by Dylan Thomas named Do not go gentle into that good night: https://www.cgcs.org/cms/lib/DC00001581/Centricity/Domain/25/Coleman_Poem_Do_not_go_gentle_into_that_good_night.pdf.

 

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Make me a promise that you can fulfill

Love should always sparkle and be profound

Find the compromise that evades us still

 

Novel brings the smile against our will

Predict the other’s action and sound

Make me a promise that you can fulfill

 

Spend time to develop the romance skill 

Sweet memories record the voyage bound

Find the compromise that evades us still

 

Eventual gloom peaks atop the hill

We turn our heads to past light on the ground

Make me a promise that you can fulfill

 

Consecutive dark nights destroy and kill

Selfish pride and anger come round

Find the compromise that evades us still

 

Dear love, I hold close to what brought us thrill

Before the events that have led us frowned

Make me a promise that you can fulfill

Find the compromise that evades us still

 

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Afterword

 

I attest to the fact that good writing is often fuelled by the emotional outcome of cause and effect.  The right words come out of the ether, almost like elementary particles in space. If I were to guess, this passion and fire perhaps is an effect due to the human need for catharsis, to offload the pressure on one’s mind and body transcended through lexicon and communication. Maybe a follower of Aristotle’s Poetics can provide a perspective on the matter.

 

Thereby I begin to write the afterword for this blog post, dedicated to work by the poet Dylan Thomas titled Do not go gentle into that good night. I first heard this timeless piece cited in the incredible cinematic adventure Interstellar by Christopher Nolan. Since then, I often read the villanelle as a cathartic, ritualistic articulation during times of mania and wrath. It is the latter, also known as anger, for which I aim to address in this yearly post.

 

Reflecting on the past year, I am displeased with myself on the amount of times that anger has taken control of me. An opinion I always held was that anger was an emotion for low level people; those that have no control nor desire for control of their mental state. Anger is an emotion that easily arises, overwhelms, and acts impulsively to achieve relief. These characteristics are almost certainly why it was included as one of Catholicism’s Seven Deadly Sins. Anger is the gravity that pulls you into the darkness of the abyss.

 

The year 2019 was filled with many newsworthy stories that stirred anger among all people. Unbelievable violence, poor international policies, polarization among scientific facts… The list goes on. Even in my personal life; romantic downturns, science mishaps, poor personal and workplace relationships, financial debt… Each experience in its own way built upon the previous and synthesized more and more rage. Rage, like a biochemical reaction, wound on itself like a positive feedback loop.

 

There were even some great, novel moments in the year, despite the negative circumstances that surrounded them. In my head, I have them catalogued as “small moments”, like spending quality time with family and friends, finding a new hobby as board game enthusiast, travelling on my own in Sweden and Norway. There just seemed to be so little of these moments mixed among the collection of chaos and catastrophe.

 

But why is that? Why does the mind focus so easily on the negative aspects of everyday life and easily take for granted the positive? Do I weigh dark matter with more mental mass than light matter? And how was I simply manipulated by an emotion despite the awareness I have honed myself since I was slammed against the washroom wall by a high school bully almost a decade ago?

 

I don’t know the answers to these questions. Nonetheless, during times when my morality is tested, I recall those strong principles that have guided me to where I am today. Wrath, anger, rage, however this negative emotion likes to call itself, personifies a character that I know I am not. If anything, the mental awareness I possess has still some fine-tuning to accomplish. My only advice, if you have gotten this far, is to develop your own sense of awareness, stick true to your moral compass, and if you feel the buildup of anger: rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

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As I do every year, I would like to share with you now the blooper reel of 2019. To the small moments, to the big moments, and to the fantastic people I know and love, here’s to a year of developing greater awareness!

I'd love to hear from you.

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